2 YEARS AND COUNTING

I am happy to announce, I have made it TWO years in my Recovery from anorexia with no relapse. This is a HUGE occomplishment for me. This is the longest I have ever gone in the 15 years the disease has been apart of my life. I owe so much to my husband and my family for their encouragement, love and support. Most of all, I owe so much thanks and gratitude to Avalon Hills, the treatment center that helped save my life. If it wasn't for their awesome eating disorder program, I really doubt I would be here to watch my little boy grow up and be blessed with a wonderful little girl.

My husband, Ben is so amazing. He has put up with so much with this demon being apart of our marriage. He doesn't hold his breath sometimes and he gets really nervous, but I always pull through the trial (not to mention this whole year has been one big trial). It is a relief to him to have me be mostly free. Thank you Ben, I love you.

I owe so much to my wonderful Therapist. She has been there through it all. She has such wonderful wisdom that has helped me push through the really HARD moments that would normally throw me back a huge step. Thank You Jean. You are absolutely amazing. I love you tons.

Christmas Eve

Bryn and Santa.

Aiden sitting on santa's lap. He looks really shy, but he was talking to the man in the red suit quite well.

Gingerbread Houses

"I built you a house, mom"

Every year since I was way little, my mom has this tradition of making gingerbread houses out of grahm crackers. This was Aiden's first year. He had a blast of course.

Oh Christmas Lights

For family night we wanted to take Aiden to see some Christmas lights. The one's in Roy are always so amazing and Aiden loves them, so we walked around and looked at those. After we froze, we went home and had hot chocolate and read a christmas story..Thanks to the wonderful Christmas stories we get every year with a wonderful message from Ben's family. Aiden absolutely loved it. He had never had hot chocolate before and thought it was the coolest thing.

Waving Snowman that Aiden Loves.

Daddy and Aiden

Mommy and Aiden freezing our butts off. It was 19 degrees. We are sitting in Santa's Sleigh.

Aiden laughing at the waving snowman at the Roy City Fire Station's Christmas lights.

I love this...

Oh no...please don't put me in here again!

I just love the look on Brynlee's face. Most of the time she loves this play saucer, but lately she has gotten board fast.

Scrooge

So I am having one of those years where I just don't want to do Christmas. I wish it would just skip over this year. I know I am being a Scrooge, but I would feel a lot better if it was over. I guess with all the trials in our family, I am just not in the Christmas spirit. I have tried to serve others by volunteering at various places and making gifts for my brother for my mom, but that doesn't help my mood get better. I notice a lot of people in the same sort of mood. This time of year is just too stressful and there is so much emphasis put on shopping and stuff when really I wish people would focus on Christ instead including myself..that would probably help get me in the Christmas spirit.

O.C.D.

Aiden is so much like his mom is some ways. This is what he did to all of our fridge magnets. Look at it close, they are categorized. The teddy bears are in one corner. the Disney ones are in another and you can see the rest. This is so O.C.D and absolutely funny. He is very proud of it. He said "Look mom, look how perfect it is." YIKES!

Attack ATTACK!

With Bryn being 5 months now, we decided to try our hand at the cereal thing. She wasn't interested in it the first time we tried a couple weeks ago, but again we tried and she attacked it. She was trying to suck on the spoon. Fun times.

Light Saber Holder

Me and Aid were playing light sabers and he couldn't get the the light saber to stay in his pocket so he stuck in the front of his pants. He is so funny sometimes (or most times).

Little Painter

This is Aiden painting his new bedroom wall spiderman red. The top is painted blue. Can you guess what the theme will be hehehe. He absolutely loved it. Ben stripped him to his underwear to avoid getting paint everywhere. He didn't get any paint on him at all except for his little pinky toe. He is very picky about keeping himself clean. He loves his new room. A spiderman border will go inbetween the blue and red.

SO BIG!!

Brynlee is getting SO BIG! She wanted to drink from Daddy's cup full of ice water at the Timbermine the other night. She will be 5 MONTHS OLD on Thanksgiving and weighs a WHOPPING 10 pounds 13 ounces as of today. She is 24.5 inches tall. HOLY COW kids grow up too fast.

Twilight

So I have a confession. I went and saw the movie with my sisters before both Aimie and I had even read the books. I absolutely loved it. It was so good. I am so excited to read the books, which of course I heard are much better than the movie. WOW, I am excited because I thought the movie was intensely wonderful.

Halloween Pictures

My Happy little Pumpkin

Princess Laia (or however you spell it)

JEDI AIDEN

Happy 28th Birthday Star

I love you Star..........Love Ben

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Moving Up

Just an update on our family life. We finally got completely moved down to Ogden from Logan. We struggled for weeks and weeks to find a place to live that we could afford. I never realized how expensive things were down here compared to Cache Valley. We paid $625 for a three bedroom, three bathroom townhouse with a garage and down here that same thing is $900-1000. Completely ridiculous in my book. We lived with my family for a week and have been with Ben's family ever since he started back at Capitol, which is about a month. We lived with Ben's parent's about 4.5 years ago for a year. I did not think we would be back. Bless their hearts to let us stay with them again. We will be moving into a house in the next month or so in Clearfield. My cousin, Bryson wants us to rent it from him so he can have a chance to do other things. So we will have a chance to have a yard, which I am more then excited for and a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house for $700. I am so grateful that something like this has worked out. I have been soooooo frustrated among other out of control feelings and this was an answer to our prayers. It will be so nice to move up from Apartment to House finally.

Star Wars Fight

Ben and Aiden are having a Star Wars Light Saber Fight. Aiden Said "Dad, you are Yoda and I am Aniken." Can you guess what they both are going to be for Halloween? It is so fun to watch them play. It is just what Ben dreamed...to have a son just like him.

Here are the floating light sabers in the dark.

Hide and Seek

Aiden and I were playing hide and seek one day in between me working and this is where he chose to hide. The box isn't really that big and but he wormed his way inside. He was so excited that he fit and that he was hiding from me that he was laughing so hard he wet his pants (that happens when he laughs too hard). I didn't show that picture. It was really funny. He cracks me up.

Tagged

My Good friend Aspen Tagged my kids so here goes:

AIDEN:

1. Aiden loves to color. He has been able to color in the lines since he was about 20 months. He will spend hours coloring or painting. One day he painted a snake the colors of the rainbow and he refused to mix any of the colors on the paint tray. He said it was bad to mix the colors because the real color would disappear.

2. He loves to play any sports. He has been able to make baskets since he was 17 months old. He had perfect form. We were all surprised. Now he can hit a baseball when it is pitched to him. He can drop kick a soccer ball, and he can throw a freebie perfectly.

3. He loves to ride his bike. He learned how to ride a bike with training wheels. He learned from watching people on the street. He always says "I can ride like that boy." even if it was a girl.

4. Aiden is such a sweet boy. He comforts everyone when they are sad. He will go up to that person and wipe their tears away and caress their face and say "Don't cry, it will be alright. He loves to cuddle especially at night or when he has to go to the bathroom and doesn't want to go. HEHEEHE. He loves to learn and is surpising us all learning small small words to read. He has a vivid imagination and likes to play Star Wars, Indiana Jones or Spider Man. He is such a joy in our family. I don't know what I would do without him. I never knew I could love someone this much.


BRYNLEE;

Is such a tiny little thing. She is always so happy. Her grins are so big. Her mouth opens wide as can be and she coos really loud. She is such a good baby. She just sits there and talks and she sleeps through the night most of the time from day one. It is so much fun to have a little girl to dress up and put frilly things on. We are so incredibly blessed to have her in our family. We are looking forward to the months and years to come. She brings us such joy.

NOW I AM TAGGING:

-Dallin & Drew
-Caden, Keilie, Shelby, & Brennon
-Carson
-Cole
-Kylynn, Kamryn, Kazure, Kason
-Matthew & David

All The Grandkids

All the grandkids are finally together at last. This was taken a couple weeks ago. My mom was gleeming from ear to ear. She hasn't had her grandkids together since Christmas.

From Left to Right: Lilie, Veyron, Aiden, and Brynlee. Lilie is my sister Aimie's and Veyron is my brother, Kevron's

My Sister: A Tribute To An Angel Baby

ANGEL BABY

Here is a tribute to my older sister who I never got a chance to know on this earth, but will stay in my heart forever.

Christine Rees
was born September 22, 1979 and returned home September 22, 1979.

If Tears Could Build a Stairway If tears could build a stairway And memories were a lane We would walk right up to heaven And bring you back again No farewell words were spoken No time to say goodbye You were gone before we knew it And only God knows why Our hearts still ache in sadness And secret tears still flow What it meant to lose you No one can ever know But now we know you want us To mourn for you no more To remember all the happy times Life still has much in store Since you'll never be forgotten We pledge to you today A hallowed place within our hearts Is where you'll always stay ...author unknown... Happy 29th Birthday Sis. We will Always Love you. Families are Forever

My Little Athlete

Aiden Loves all sports. He has been able to hit a ball when it is pitched to him for at least six months. He just turned three last month. I have never seen a two year old be able to do this. I am so impressed with the way he can throw a freebie. He can throw one better then I can and he knows it. He always says "come on mommy, you can do better then that." Funny funny hahahaha.

Batter Up

Confessons

I get the cutest ideas from my friend, Steph. She did a confessions on her blog and I learned so much from her..so here is mine.

1. I am very particular or perfectionistic (as ben would say) about my cleaning schedule. Everything is mapped out on a piece of paper, taped to my fridge.
2. I have a hard time focusing on one thing at a time to clean. I jump from room to room sometimes before I finish a certain room. Hense the list.
3. I absolutely hate change.
4. Sometimes I constantly look at the clock to see if it is nap time or bed time for Aiden. But only because I need a break bad.
5. I check my e-mail up to 5 times a day, but I sometimes don't check it at all.
6. I listen to the same CD or album for about four months straight.
7. I am very much a germ freak. I love to sanitize.
8. When I am playing a song on the piano, if I don't like the base clef then I will make up my own.
9. I have a secret stash of candy that is about 5 years old (yuck).
10. I cry at least once a day.

Type 1.5 it is

So an update on the complicated diabetes case that has taken over our family. Ben has been officially diagnosed with type 1.5 diabetes. I had never heard of this until about a week ago when all this had blown up in our faces. Here is a little bit about type 1.5:

Type 1.5 is one of several names now applied to those who are diagnosed with diabetes as adults, but who do not immediately require insulin for treatment, are often not overweight, and have little or no resistance to insulin. When special lab tests are done, they are found to have antibodies, especially GAD65 antibodies, that attack their beta cells. This sort of diabetes is sometimes called Slow Onset Type 1 or Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults or LADA.

The doctor found the presence of this GAD antibody in Ben's blood, which as stated above, happens in individuals with Type 1 diabetes. Because of this, he will be on Insulin and oral medication. According to the dr. he will most likely be completely on insulin within the next four years. This GAD antibody is attacking Ben's pancreas as we speak. The doctor said his pancreas has taken quite a hit and will continue to until it gives completely out. What makes Ben such a complicated case is that he required insulin immediately and his body is making very little insulin, as well as the late onset. He is coping well and has a very very good attitude about keeping it well managed....my coping on the other hand is a different story.

ONLY UP FROM HERE

It can only go up when you hit rock bottom, right? Well that is what we are praying for. life is funny. It throws so many curve balls, bumps in the road, whatever you want to call them. We have been thrown so many bumps in the road in the last three months, sometimes I think I want to be one of those bumps and just disappear. Brynlee is doing so much better with her apnea episodes and was given a clean bill of health last Thursday. Ben's weird lump/cancer scare is completely gone (thank goodness). However, these "bumps" this last week are a little harder to jump over for all of us. It all started when we had to have a health assessment for Ben's work. Him and I have to have a health assessment every year for insurance purposes. We got our results last Saturday. Mine was perfect, blood tests and everything. Ben's on the other hand have me pulling out my hair. His blood glucose was at 360. We both laughed at that number and said it had to be wrong. I suggested he get it tested at the Utah State Campus doctor. He finally consented to do so on Tuesday. Needless to say, he got diagnoised with type 1 diabetes after a glucose of 550. I completely freaked out, first cancer scares and now this. Except this was an actual reality and a ton better then cancer. I was completely shocked and so was Ben. He had had no symptoms except thirst and urinating frequently. He had lost about 35 pounds but he thought it was the diet I had put him on 10 months ago to loose weight and become healthier. To make a long story short, the doctors aren't sure exactly what kind of diabetes he has. He does not fit the typical symptoms for type 1 or type 2. They are leaning more towards type 1.5, which I didn't know even existed. He has a complicated case that has the doctor baffled. He is on insulin shots to help regulate his blood sugars and to help bring them down to a normal healthy level. So far so good.

The same day as the diagnoses, Ben was fired from his job for not clocking back in after a lunch break. He had totally spaced it and they fired him. Apperently his high blood sugars attributed to his spacey and forgetfullness. The company is extremely pickey about stuff like that apperently. If it were me, I would have been fired 10,000 times probably for all the times I had forgotten to clock in or out at the hospital when I worked there.

On the bright side, he got a job offer in Ogden at Capitol where he worked before we moved to Logan. So I am so excited to announce we are moving back to Ogden. In Ogden, we can be closer to family and he can be closer to the diabetes doctors down there. There are none in Logan. I applied for a job at a Medical Weightloss clinic in Ogden as a Nutrition Counsler...I really really want it.

Today I did so good. I was proud of his and my efforts to lower his extremely high glucoses. The diabetes educator gave me the okay to be his nutritionist so that he does not have to see a dietitican weekly or ever. I am glad I have a degree in what I do. Diabetes is complex as far as nutrition goes. I knew a little before his diagnoses, but now I am forced to learn everything I can. Before dinner tonight his glucose was a perfect 103 (normal), two hours after dinner it was 150, perfect for two hours after a meal. I was so excited that the portions I gave him were correct and worked well with his body. It has been so overwhelming to me. He is taking it so well and is coping very well considering he loves junk food. It will be an incredible lifestyle change for us and our families to count every carb in every food, but somehow we will manage because that is the hand we are dealt with right now.

I have to keep reminding myself that Heavenly Father doesn't give us more then we can handle. I forget sometimes that he knows us better then we know ourselves becuase I never thought I could handle this many bumps in the road.

9 pounds and growing

Brynlee is two and a half months old now and she just keeps growing up. She is now 9 pounds and 22.5 inches long. I love the stage where smiles are endless (most of the time). She is such a happy, good baby. She definitely makes up for Aiden who still doesn't sleep through the night very often and seems a little bit more high maintenance at times. However, they both are so much fun together. Aiden is so gentle and sweet to his "little sister." I am looking forward to the coming months where the even funner stages come.

Memory Keeper

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you.
Take me on trip down memory lane.

Do you think they are related???

This is Aiden and Brynlee at 6 weeks old. I think it is really cool that they look a lot alike. I am however glad that Brynlee does look like a girl. I don't think that any of my siblings really look this much alike and same goes for Ben and his siblings.

Four Generations

This is four generations of my family. My Grandpa, my dad, me and my kids. I will cherish this forever.

Our first complete family picture

This is the first picture that we have taken since Brynlee joined our family. It's not the best, but it is precious.